Sunday, June 18, 2017

THE 'D' GRADE. (cause it's father's day!!)


First and foremost...
HAPPIEST FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS AND MOTHERS FILLING BOTH SHOES!!!
Now this ‘D’ grade is all about the father’s that actually stuck around and earned themselves the sterling ‘Daddy’ name.
Almost every male human being on earth can be a father but it takes a whole other breed of male humans to make a ‘Daddy’. (Get your minds out of the gutter people! It’s father's day!!)
I have been blessed with the most INVOLVED dad that it gets annoying almost everyday and every hour if he wasn’t busy. Growing up it was really suffocating. But now as an adult I truly APPRECIATE him. I’ve grown up with friends who talk to their fathers out of a sense of ‘duty’. Others because society and culture and religious teachings tell us we should answer when called by an adult and especially your parent. I love my father. No matter how long his calls get..
..i cherish them. Plus he’s really ENTERTAINING!! Hihihi. I get some of my creativity and theatrics from him. I’m not saying we don’t fuss and fight. We do! We are both stubborn, love having things our way and we definitely have very parallel ways of looking at life and living it. But he’s my first love. He made sure I understood that on my bad days he is there. Whether I like it or not. He makes sure during my heart breaks....(i never tell him but he always knows)...he reminds me over and over how beautiful iam and how lucky any man would be to have me. This man right here fights even ME and my stubborn and rebellious self just to keep me close. Why would I settle for less?! I LOVE YOU DAD. No matter what happens I APPRECIATE you.
Now both my parents have helped raised most of my orphaned or abandoned cousins and even non relatives. And they are even more ‘nosy’ (And I mean that in the most affectionate way) with all their adopted children. There’s just this one problem.....the abandoned children they’ve raised have fathers. Now it got to a place the fathers started reaching out and my parents refused to let them into their biological children's lives. I also thought it was to protect my adopted siblings but as an adult and with all the ‘daddy issues’ loitering around I’ve realised my parents might have thought it was for the best but it never was.
Why? Because my adopted siblings are carrying around lethal portions of bitterness and resentment towards their biological parents and even extended relatives at large. Asking “why didn’t you come for us?” “Why didn’t you fight hard enough to get us?” “where have you been?” “what was so important?” And what have you. Which is natural. We all want people who claim to love us or who should love whether they want to or not (our parents) to actually fight for us. As an adult I now understand that our parents shape us into the human beings we are or still becoming and there’s nothing we can do about it. If you have a great dad you want be like him when you grow up and even emulate him in bringing up your children and how you treat women. Then if he’s just a terrible person. He abandoned you. He was there but never provided. Never supported you. You couldn't  even talk to him and he was right there. Or if he was a drunkard or junkie. Or never treated your mother well......all these negatives will make you want to be better than him. Be a better man for yourself, your spouse and even your children. But! Some actually take this as an example and follow in those  negative footsteps. Either way our parents shape us into the human beings we become.
My simple suggestion....don’t hide your children from their biological fathers or mothers and relatives. Don’t be the reason they don’t know their roots. Don’t stand in their way of growth. Let them decide. You can only guide and counsel them. You can’t change their DNA no matter what. So you laid the bed now you got to lie in It!! Respect your children's heritage! Whether their fathers earn the sterling ‘D’ grade or not is up to them!

 Happy father’s day once again to the sterling Dads out there!!!

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