LIVE LOVE LEARN

Always wondered why your mere existence makes some and most likely MOST of the people around you and even your own family green with the eyed monster famously known as ENVY or simply bat shit crazy?!

Out of the yellows human beings you were sure were your friends and the others….you literally share DNA with start being quardripolar,malicious,vindictive and simply give the chameleon a run for its ability to change to whatever its environs are!!
Well worry no more…...its a SIMPLE fact that after repetition from my pastor that I finally understood what was going on. Nobody and I mean NOBODY throws stones at a barren tree. People are always throwing stones at trees that bear fruits.

Live not in anguish anymore. Live not in fright no more. You can tell them off as much as you want to when you discover them. Hell, I'm not the person to tell you not to cause I do it myself like I studied for it. Hehehe.
Drop the dead weight. Cut them off! Life's way too short to keep hindrances,nuisances and especially enemies of your progress in your life.

Learn to love your own company. Do what your good at. Them green eyed monster human beings will try to close doors quite openly when the battle lines have been drawn but fear not. Work with all you’ve at whatever your working at or what your working towards. And most IMPORTANTLY keep it to yourself!!!

Sadly it is human nature to want people to do well but not better than them. So to hell with the nay sayers, the disbelievers and the haters.
Infact the haters are just bitter cause you got what they’d love to have and will work tirelessly to break you down psychologically,emotionally,mentally and even spiritually.
Keep your head high,shoulders and back and your genuine cheer leaders CLOSE. Not forgetting your mentors (if you have any).

Yours truly singlepolarly,

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TERMITE TERRITORY.

   So here goes…..FAMILY.

This is the essence of all our existence. Whether you are an orphan, abandoned or you believe you have the craziest fellows in your family and most times you feel like an outsider or adopted. Doesn’t  matter. Family is family and you ended up in that family for a reason. You might have no idea but everyone in your crazy or MIA family plays their own unique part.

Out of my extremely observant big eye…..i have witnessed the most dysfunctional families, the craziest and even the most broken and detached but when push comes to shove everyone magically styles up and puts all their differences aside to deal with the calamity, tragedy or issue that has risen against the family.

Not one family on this planet is perfect. NOT ONE! But the most admiral trait ‘family’ has is the fact that they’ve perfected the art of keeping their dirty linen and weaknesses to themselves. After all, all your issues aren’t anybody else’s business but yours so why share when most people literally do a ‘jig’ behind your back celebrating your issues. The epitome of green snakes in our green grass like I had so generously descriptively described in one of my previous articles.

Enough of the mushy stories about family. We all know family has the ability to break or build us and sadly there’s nothing we can do about it. Relax. (all y’all raising your eyebrows. I see you). I’ll explain. Time to expose the ‘termites’ in the foundations of our families’ proverbial ‘wood’.

So in most families we have;

 The ‘thief’ or ‘thieves’. That even steal from their own siblings,cousins,parents and the rest of the relatives given the opportunity.

The ‘drunkards/addicts’ of one substance or another and its completely controlling their lives.

The ‘school dropouts’ ending up as liabilities or burdens of one design or another.

The ‘gay/lesbian and even bisexual’. We can all claim there’s no problem with these guys but we know the generation that is our parents’ and grandparents’ are left with a bitter taste in their mouths. Especially in our african cultures. It is still a serious stigma.

The ‘hopeless communicator’. Never answers calls or respond to texts. Thus missing out on most family functions.

I could go on forever but none of the above is a heartache like…

The ‘termites’ in the family. These fellows are far worse than the hypocritical friends, colleagues and spouses. For the fact that they are family….they already have the upper hand of knowing things a friend wouldn’t unless you chose to tell them. But family members don’t have to wait for you to tell. Stories have a way of spreading like wildfire between relatives.

So the termites are far worse than the green snakes. Atleast with a snake no matter the type of camouflage it takes to….it loses its snakeskin. Doesn’t matter how long it hides waiting to pounce. Scientifically and naturally, it has to grow and when that happens it sheds its old skin. Which the cant camouflage anymore because it’s dead skin. It’s all white, off white, brown. It completely loses its ability to hide. So obviously in green grass that ought to stand out. (Stay with me people!)

Their counterparts the ‘termites’ are SPECIAL. Far worse than the shedding green snakes. Termites eat wood from the inside out. You won’t easily notice. And by the time you notice the wood is all eaten up and you have to incur expenses to get yourself some new wood though I would advice you on getting plastic. No hiding its defects. No animal or insect eats it. And it either breaks, bends or burns. Either way you get to notice its defect the minute it happens. Perfect way of life to keep out the termites and snakes of our lives. Right? I wish!

What do the ‘termites’ of the family do? They create mayhem. They weaken the loyalty ties within the family. They turn family members against themselves. My big question is……to what end? To achieve what?

How these ‘termites’ manage to sleep or look at themselves in the mirror is beyond me. Why would you go around spreading your family issues and weaknesess plus failures to outsiders? Just because its not you that the issue has befallen. Forgetting that our families define us to the outside world. Especially it being so judgemental, stifling and so ready to stick every individual with one stigma or another.

A nasty rumour arises out of nowhere about you amongst your friends and in the family…….we would rather kill a friend than simply accept it was either a sister or brother or first cousin who spread it. Most times we end up cutting people from our lives because of “he/she said”. We all got to learn something I learnt the hard way and cover your bases…..ask  just one question…”when all this was being said what were you doing or saying?” It is in human nature to do and say stupid things especially against a loved one.

With these termites I could go on forever…. But I know my distinguished readers are a sharp bunch. You get it.

Bottomline; we live in an era of man eat man. Survival being strictly for the fittest; mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically.  Although, physical strength doesn’t really count in the face of termites, green snakes, pigeons and despicable us. Sad fact. But it is what it is.

                                                Yours candidly;

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P.S: I STILL LOVE YOU

Its been ages; my bad.

So I have been ‘observing’ a whole lot of myself. I took time out  and checked myself out.

There’s no doubt that im a work in progress.

Im what I like to call an ‘uncut diamond’. I am mostly the ‘what you see is what you get’ type of person and that is changing. Negatively? I have no idea but most definitely I am learning that NO ONE gets what they give so fiercely, is what one gets in return.

I was ALL loyalty and no tolerance for anyone who was the tiniest bit ‘disloyal’ if I considered your actions leaned into that category. It didn’t matter what my parents, siblings, friends, relatives had done to warrant your reaction. And now im just here like…eerrrr….(crickets) what type of life was i living? I never once stopped to think that the other party apart from my loved could actually have every right to go on and retaliate or act out the way they did due to the offence made by my ‘loved ones’. (iam using that term very loosely). I wasn’t living my life I was living theirs. I couldn’t talk or associate with people who could have probably added value In my life because someone not really doing much in my life was having issues with that person. So I concluded I wasn’t being loyal. I was being STUPID. Especially when the person you are defending turns around and literally bites off your nose! Because waiting for you to turn your back so they bite your ass is taking too long!

Apart from that I have also realized im not a good friend anymore. I am making my really old friends and the new friends I have made and still making PAY for some of my ‘friends’ mistakes. I just want to tell you all now that those that feel like i swept you under the rug that you aren't the problem…..IAM!

Accepting my mistakes will hopefully heal my issues. I am not only cautious but gotten literally FRIGHTENED. I have had people walk into my life to get the little I have to offer and run right back out. I don’t easily share my ‘dysfunctional’ family issues orANY of my other issues because in all HONESTY its none of any one’s business. But when I do you and you go preaching the gospel around then we automatically stop being friends. That’s just WRONG.

I have been on a journey of self analyzation and self preservation for 2years. In this period I have lost,gained and retained friendships. Some constructive and others quite destructive. I have come to realise that there are certain friends for certain departments of your life. Not all friends can handle ALL parts of you. So when you are asked to pick them wisely…..find out where who belongs. Not completely cut everyone off because they couldn’t handle ALL your parts. They are human after all and when it comes to ‘endurance’, ‘tolerance’, ‘loyalty’ and the plain crude ‘honesty’ humanity has the best track record of sprinting as furthest from you as possible. If you want such a friend get a dog. Please!

I am the champion of champions when it comes to cutting people off and the paragraph above is what I have learnt. The hard way. Mind you im not saying keep around people whom you are sure are drilling holes in your boat. Lets all just wisen up.

I have a very interesting brain. My brain just goes into OVERDRIVE when I smell anything fishy that my so called friend is upto and I WAIT tirelessly to CONFIRM my observations or instincts about your transgressions. Then when I pounce on you with my allegations and most times facts my brain SHUTS DOWN. It just completely SHUTS YOU OUT.  I have realized my brain cant hack stress . No matter how many times a third party tries to make me repair a burnt bridge I just cant. As long as your issue undergoing some type of processing in my head…..i CANNOT look at you let alone trying to work something out with you.

I love fiercely but sprint away even more fiercely when burnt and I have third degree burns of all sorts from people I once gave myself to wholeheartedly. I have been loyal to a fault to so many people who didn’t deserve it and now the people that could actually use it and need it I cant afford to give it to them because im just  ‘over it’. Like, it doesn’t matter anymore. Like, ‘who cares’???

I should have learnt much earlier to put people where they belong in my life. It would have saved me the headaches and heartaches. Problem is the green snakes in our green grass are the best actresses and actors not forgetting with the sweetest tongues.  The oscars in hollywood and the recognition that comes with it is going to the WRONG people. These snakes deserve recognition and some awards coz they do it like they are being paid!

I have missed my friends weddings, baby showers and bachelorette parties in my lifetime and I just need to say I AM SORRY. To all my friends and everyone who considers me a friend to him or her and my family that feels I let them down by being aloof , passive and not at all interested in the milestones in their lives and everything else. I AM TRULY, ABSOLUTELY, COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY SORRY. This is me telling you all now that I know I have pushed most of you away with my silence and inability to commit to be with you when you need me to. if you were wondering what you did wrong that I haven't confronted you with it then you should know that its not you. I am. All relationships need EFFORT and I have been slacking. And as my friends or frenemies we all know that if I had an issue with ou….confronting you wouldn’t be it. HEHEHE.

Iam working towards stopping you from paying for other people’s mistakes in my past and present.  You people are truly remarkable. You still call in or text to check in on me and your patience humbles me. As much as I know how fabulous I already am!! Lol. No pun intended.  A more ‘organised’ Getty has been conceived.

P.S: I STILL LOVE YOU ALL.

                                                                             With Love;

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British baby shocks medical profession!!

Welcome to Godslove Eze's blog: British baby shocks medical profession by learning...: She first did it at three days old and now - at three weeks old - regularly holds her bottle and pushes it aside when she is full up. ...

PIGEONS TAKE FLIGHT.

We all know the pigeon….this bird can make uncharacteristic loud noises.

This bird is also one UNSTABLE creature….even a little breeze leave alone wind makes it take flight. So of course you are all wondering where this going…..well we have human beings loitering around with this particular bird’s less attractive characteristics and qualities.

As it is with human nature….WE ALL NEED LOVE. We search for it. We crave it. We yearn for it. We thirst for it. In some cases it gets really crazy. Where people go through GRIEF to take abuse and tolerate things and situations which they wouldn’t tolerate on any normal day just to have that ‘illusion’ of love around you or with you.

Im not an expert on love and like I have stated in my previous articles….LOYALTY is part of the cornerstones of love. I have witnessed a whole lot of people sleeping around in the hope of something evolving from the ‘one-night stand’ or ‘fling’ or ‘friends with benefits’. Which usually never end up in something meaningful. We should learn to state our business. Literally. No need to string someone along and toy with their feelings that’s just downright inhuman.

What do I mean by ‘we should state our business’……if you are old enough to be having sex then you are old enough to know that feelings HURT!! Especially when not reciprocated. I mean if you are out to just have fun then SAY it!! Let the other party decide if they can handle that. If you are tired of games and waking up in different beds with different partners then STATE IT! If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend but fidelity is not your virtue….then please let the ‘side-whatever’ KNOW! At times we get ourselves into situations that are seriously UNNECESSARY. You attract what you project.

IM NOT PROMOTING INFIDELITY. Im just saying let’s stop putting ourselves in highly volatile and unnecessary and situations. Because honestly so many of us out there are just busy ending up in bed with different partners then catching feelings and ending up in SITUATIONSHIPS!! And the question is…..WHAT FOR??

If people knew how SACRED, IMPORTANT and VALUABLE sex/making love is….you wouldn’t be having it with just anyone. Plus there’s HYGEINE to be considered!!

After all that ‘romping’…..who has your back??? Who can you call in the middle of the night for help?? Who would come to see you when you are sick?? Who would hold you when your life is chaotic? Do you really need ‘pigeons’ in your life? Pigeons who take flight at the first sign of trouble? I don’t think so.

What we all NEED is a SPHINX who’ll hold down the fort while our worlds are crushing down around us. Someone who’ll love you even when you don’t love yourself. Someone who’ll believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself and probably being ridiculed by the society.

Most people don’t believe such people exist….truth is they do….but they don’t come easy as your ‘romp’ buddies. You will only find them or they find you when you stop being a pigeon yourself. Clean out your closet. Raise your own standards by ditching all the bad detrimental habits.

Let the pigeons in you GO!!

Anyone who’s in your life and wants to leave….let them GO! If they come back..well and good. Sometimes some things need to fall apart in order to fall back together. Don’t cage a pigeon!! Its MISERY your breeding.

If you TRULY gave any relationship in your life everything you’ve got and someone still wants to exit for some mistake you made and can’t seem to get over it….let them GO! Let that be their mistake. The harsh reality check they’ll get out there will be their cross to carry.

The other characteristic of a pigeon that I haven’t mentioned and most people don’t know is that they are INTELLIGENT enough to know where ‘HOME’ is…….set your pigeon free if it wants to take flight….if you are where home is…they’ll be back problem is they aren’t all that ‘punctual’.

So who needs a ‘late’ pigeon when you have a rock solid SPHINX?? Doesn’t even have to be ‘punctual’.

Let’s stop the pigeon act ourselves first.

Then let’s LET GO of the pigeons in our lives.

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THE FAULT IN OUR 'STARS'.

R ‘STARS’

Been battling with a particular issue for several months now…..i genuinely don’t know how to express it or what to think of it. All I know is that its SAD. To the extent that it left me SPEECHLESS and anyone who knows me well that RARELY happens.

So this particular issue has got a lot to do with friendship. Yes ‘friendship’. This particular term appears to have lost meaning. Genuinely. Then the most overrated term is the famous ‘BFF’ (Best Friends Forever). And I im about to use this term very loosely in conjuction with the series of dumbfounding events that have transpired for close to a year now.

There are many crimes, mistakes, transgressions and trespasses I have made in my lifetime but one mistake no one can ever accuse me of in this lifetime or the next is DISLOYALTY. Yet as life being the ‘bitch’ she is would have it….i ended up being accused of this heinous crime. Im using the word ‘henious’ because I GENUINELY despise hypocrisy and ADORE loyalty. So im just here….like…err…..FLABBERGASTED. Absolutely, sincerely, honestly etc.

I have made a stand especially with this particular trait that has gotten so SCARCE with our generation and ofcourse I lost friends and even people I loved because honestly it doesn’t cost a thing yet so valuable but here we are acting like it doesn’t matter. Like we can leave without it but truth be told no man is an island. No money in the world can buy it. No amount of relationships can ever survive without it. People keep trying and failing. So if its that worthless why cant we live without it??? Because truth be told whether we like it or not……the epitome of ‘TRUE LOVE’ is LOYALTY. You cannot love someone if you can't be loyal to that person. It’s a LIE.

So I have been having this ‘BFF’ type of friendship for close to 20 years now….or rather had. Then my BFF just goes MUTE on me and I knowing when im not wanted…..i kept I my distance for over 6 months. Made me wonder if we ever BFFs in the 1^st place.

Then the already ‘frozen titanic’ hit the tip of an ‘iceberg’ and a whole GIGANTIC, HUMONGOUS iceberg that was obviously hidden underneath came to life and of course with women the ‘claws’ came out. And a whole lot of ‘ice’ (accusations) started flying all over the already FROZEN sea.

So apparently out of close to 20 years Gertrude cant seem to keep her mouth shut about her ‘BFF’…….and im just here like what in the world im I saying after 20 years that I never said before??? Why now?? I had 20 years to do the ‘talking’! And everyone who knows im a PASSIONATE SPEAKER!!

Then I had an EPIPHANY!!! My ‘BFF’ and I had always led different lives throughout our friendship! We both belonged to different circles and had diverse different friends that hardly ever mixed. And everyone RESPECTED and even FEARED our friendship. Then as fate would have it…our friendship got thrown into a group of ‘SHARKS’. LITERALLY. Where we had to work and ‘hang out’ constantly in the same circle due to some venture we were pursuing.

So in actual sense our friendship had never been tried and tested. Sure it got scratched….thanks to life throwing around lemons. But our friendship had never gotten an actual SMACK DOWN. So honestly our friendship finally got a piece of the pie and got it PROPERLY.

But that’s not the issue. The issue here is……if a friendship as old as ours didn’t survive the smack down and with its ‘BFF’ status what does that mean??? Were we ever really friends?!

So lets get CANDID. Or rather….UNCENSORED…..I have never taken a beating lying down and I sure wont start now! You accused me of spreading the gospel about your personal stuff and issues you were going through at that particular time. PRECISELY at that particular time. NOT all the previous 19 years. Correct? Ok. The TRILLION dollar question here is can you for the life of Christ claim just one particular issue you had at the time that you told me ALONE??? Just ONE. And you heard it elsewhere??

My darling ‘BFF’ truth be told you got very comfortable spreading the gospel with EVERYONE who would listen. And the SAME me preaching it was the one who would chew your head off about telling people who were very much celebrating behind your back! You gave details that I prided myself as your ‘BFF’ to carry them. But I would be left DUMBFOUNDED when I find myself seated with people who were even discussing the same things you had confided in me. And I was just left wondering……WTF?!????!!!???!! You should have just gone on and posted them on Al Jazeera! There was clearly NOTHING ‘confidential’ about them. Then as the mask falls off you had the audacity to tell me that you asked me ‘indirectly’?! SERIOUSLY?? Since when did you and I ask each other ANYTHING ‘INDIRECTLY’????

So after all is said and done…..you’ve got people in your boat drilling holes.

We missed phenomenal changes and achievements of each other’s lives because you couldn’t sit me down like an adult and ‘DIRECTLY’ pour out your grievances and we see the whether we would have moved on and grown stronger or simply agree to disagree and move on separately in peace.

Such is the ill fate that befell our 20yr old friendship. I still love but I hate you at the same time.

Time heals all wounds and im counting on it to work faster in this case.

Yours,

BARED & UNCENSORED,

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HATING

Honestly I'm just left dumbfounded by the little things human beings would go to great lengths to turn something or someone awesome into something negative or find ways to ridicule them or 'it'.

There are genuine haters out there no lie. For some people: you are just a pathological liar with really shallow thinking and are just mentally WEAK with no solid character and a very shaky personality with very little or no substance! No one likes you! Don't get it twisted and call people haters when you genuinely disgust them and call their creative criticism 'hating' when if you'd actually hear them out it would help you. WAKE UP!

Personally, I've been stung relentlessly and at times I was led to believe that honestly something is wrong with me. I have two faults that at times I often regret one and other really rare times I'm left to question if I should work on relinquishing the other. These two unique faults are....the first is the fact that I love myself unconditionally inside and out. The second is I've got the abnormal tendency of being abnormally LOYAL even when most people don't deserve even an iota of it!

They'll come crying about their issues with a spouse, a friend, a relative, a colleague, a neighbour even their pet! Then turn against you when you show your support and loyalty when you act just the way you'd expect someone who 'claims' to be loyal to you to. So you give the 'culprits' (offending or causing harm to the person your loyal to) the cold shoulder,shut them up even before they start 'hating' on your loved one though at times they are really just telling their side of the story,throw daggers at them with your eyes or even threaten to cripple them if they cause your loved one any more harm or unhappiness.

Then your loved one ends up treating you like the villain! And your left wondering how in the world you could be so hopelessly loyal and get burnt because of it! Then other downside is that no one stands up for you when shit hits the fan or when push comes to shove. Everyone appears to believe the other party concerned or believe the worst about you in the situation. So what if you made a mistake or said the worst thing possible? I'm human! And I'm a work in progress! I never said I'm perfect! I never said I don't or won't make mistakes! Plus I know I lack tolerance and I'm a really bad listener plus I have someone else inside me I believe when I get angry who just ties me up and literally jumps out and handles the person offending or annoying me. Just to name but a few of my faults. But you who runs off to call me a mean bitch! Or go on to preach how horrible a person i am and how you are such a victim in the whole scenario. How are you any better? Honestly projecting how you've been victimized isn't honest or genuine. Its pity you'll get and the what? Will it make you any closer to God or make you any better? Do you what the people your preaching to about me say after your gone about you?! Because your thinking is so already biased! Time ALWAYS unearths the truth and genuine characters no matter how badly slandered will always land on their feet.

              Yours sincerely;

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