(MOTHER’S DAY DELAYED SPECIAL)

My mother,

The most amazing woman on the planet alive today. Many of you are going to roll your eyes or be convinced this all sounds so cliché. But if you have been reading any of my previous titles you would have noticed by now that sugar coating anything or anyone was left to Willy Wonker of the chocolate factory.

                                                 

Back to basics…..i have watched my mother touch thousands of lives every other day without asking for anything in return. I’ve watched scoundrels, strays ,hypocrites walk into her life in droves and misuse her and the resources she has to offer then disappear after wrecking havoc in her home. Leaving her to pick up the pieces and to repair her house alone. And she does it. ALONE.  Ofcourse she’s human and she hurts and she cries but she still gets up, wipes her tears and reconstructs her house and picks up the pieces of shattered glass and feelings left all around the house and compound.

My mother isn’t perfect. That’s one thing I need to establish with the entire world before I write anything else. She isn’t perfect! Far from it. She’s PHENOMENAL. My mother was blessed with BEAUTY. TIMELESS BEAUTY. CLASSIC BEAUTY. Which she inherited from her own BEAUTIFUL mother who was even crowned “Miss Machakos” back in 1957. A county now back in Kenya. We had the misfortune of losing her in November last year but her memory lives on for giving me my mother. Without her I would probably have ended up elsewhere.

My mother’s beauty is only a tiny part of her phenomenal self. She is INTELLIGENT. She doesn’t have 50 degrees under her belt but those mean nothing when it comes to dealing with everything I’ve witnessed her deal with. My mother is the 3^rd born of 7 children and she has lost all her beloved 3 sisters. As if that trial wasn’t enough…..she was left with the custody of their children and they are six of them. Now adding to her already four daughters…that equals to 10children and four of them are boys. A mother who had no idea how to raise boys and had absolutely no experience either but still she took it in stride. But as life might always throws lemons at us….my mother’s marriage crumbled. Still mourning her siblings and adjusting to raising boys plus helping the children in dealing with their mothers’ loss….she lost her marriage and us her children because we felt like we had lost our mother to our cousins. Personally, I Gertrude went literally bananas. My education suffered. I stopped caring. I started a rebellious stage and went all out!! Before we could digest our mother wasn’t going to be our mother alone. That God had given her more children to also be a mother to…my mother re-married. I totally lost it. I was confused because we hadn’t even gotten used to our parents living apart. It all happened so fast! It left us reeling in despair, confusion and hurt. I was embarrassed aswel. Then all my complicated feelings together with puberty turned into ANGER. All those other emotions were obviously way too complicated and too many for me at that time. I blamed my dad for letting her get married to someone else. I blamed my mother for being selfish and not giving dad a chance. Then I blamed my new stepdad for stealing any chance of my parents getting back together.

All this time my mother didn’t explain anything to me because it would have probably been useless. I was way too naïve to have understood but she had my back. She didn’t judge me. We quarreled ofcourse. She punished me a whole lot and when I kept getting suspended from school she always received me with open arms.  I realize now I didn’t make life easy for her when I should have. I was busy blaming her for being selfish yet I was the epitome of selfishness myself.

 Not long after; a close friend of hers passes on and leaves her beloved daughter in her hands……that brings us to 11 children. By this time I was settled in at campus and had my head wrapped around my neck tight! So as not to lose it again. I had my future to look forward to. My mother had lived her life and she was way too burdened to have me running amock again. My mother does all this not asking even for help from any of the other children’s relatives. And some even have their fathers alive. Now you tell me if that’s not PHENOMENAL in this day and age with such a lousy economy.

My mother never once sugar coated anything for me. At 8years I could cross the road with my younger sisters in my care. And we would get to the other side fine. Even if it took 5hours and my sisters got impatient or called me blind cause I have an eyesight issue. At 9years I could take public transport to and fro my mother’s work place and auties’ houses. By 10years I was cooking all sorts of meals and baking even for her guests when she’s just supervising with her eyes. Even laying the table and serving the guests without her lifting a finger. Why? Because she knew she had done an excellent job with her 1^st girl. Anyone who has tasted my cooking can certify I had the best teacher…mommy dearest.

She never ever asks for help. She has been hurt by people she trusted and even us her children and the adopted ones. She has been betrayed time without number. She has seen her businesses hit dead ends and with 15 mouths to feed she couldn’t afford not to revive them somehow. I have seen her hit rock bottom but for only 24hours max! She picks herself up knowing she is the engine of the family and can’t afford to sulk and throw around pity parties. She gets up early everyday and goes to sleep after ensuring no one has slept hungry or sick. And the best part about it is she NEVER EVER gives up on any of us!! For all of us who have failed in one aspect of our lives she doesn’t sleep until she’s gotten us an even more lucrative plan B. The way her brain shifts gears leaves me in awe. Her not backing down from all the challenges being thrown at her inspires me. Her industrious and innovative nature highly motivates me.

Iam who iam today because of my mother. Sitting around mopping and sulking?! It better not be around her because you will have an earful of facts you won’t want to hear or accept. My mother has made her fair share of mistakes no doubt but all I know is I’m abundantly BLESSED for having a mother like mine. Not forgetting the fact that she has never given up on me. So y’all best stop wondering where my huge take charge personality and boisterous self comes from. My mother clearly passed on some of it or is it most of it?! Hehehe.

My mother has even adopted 2 more children who aren’t family as I write this but she’s fine. She’s the epitome of STRENGTH. She’s AMAZING. She’s PHENOMENAL (I insist). The best part above all is she’s MY MOTHER.

I LOVE YOU MUM. I’m BLESSED to have you as my mother and totally proud to be your daughter. And not just any daughter but the 1^ST. You make life beautiful with your charm, unique sense of humor, passion for life, affinity to beautiful things, your obvious sarcarsm, generosity and selflessness.  

I wouldn’t be who iam today causing so much harm with my giant personality, strong mind, double edged tongue and zero tolerance for the people thriving on weakness and people throwing endless pity parties instead of doing something about it without your genes.

You will always be the envy of many because you did an excellent job here. And the fact that your way too awesome to be true. People will always throw stones at things that shine and you just shine even brighter creating blindness to their negativity.

                                            Uncensored with unbridled love, pride and adoration,

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PERSONALLY.......HYGEINICALLY....

GIRLS!!    BOYS!!   LADIES!!    AND    GENTLEMEN!!

Life is too SHORT  and too PRECIOUS  to live it like a BORROWER of God’s grace!!!

We are all aware of the word ‘hygeine’ and what it means; but im still going to go to the trouble of explaining it for ignorant folk.

Hygiene is a set of practices performed for the preservation of health. While in modern medical sciences there is a set of standards of hygiene recommended for different situations, what is considered hygienic or not can vary between different cultures, genders and etarian groups. Some regular hygienic practices may be considered good habits by a society while the neglect of hygiene can be considered disgusting, disrespectful or even threatening. 

We have all shared something we probably shouldn’t with our loved ones i.e; sister,brother,friends and even spouses and most times its OK but what happens when one has a contagious skin condition or has gone off and carried a particular bacteria from their own personal extra curricular activities?

I have experienced and watched girls who are friends and some claiming to be share the most personal items. It doesn’t matter if that person looks clean. Looks have always been deceiving!  Things like lipsticks and lip glosses plus lip balms…..my fellow ladies do have any idea where the other ladies’ mouths have been? They could have been kissing a much less desired mouth or used their mouths for many other things that your own lip accessories shouldn’t be around it let alone being used by it! Do you even know when that mouth was last brushed?? Because there's always minty gum that works to keep bad breath at bay so how can you confirm that person is as clean as you are?

Another disturbing thing I have noticed is the sharing of bathing body scrubs. The ones we soap and use to scrub our bodies ‘EVERYWHERE’.

And by ‘EVERYWHERE’ I mean……EVERYWHERE. So how does someone come out of nowhere and because you have some sort of relationship they believe its okay to grab it and start scrubbing their own bodies with it?! I have no idea how and what you could have used your body for and neither do I specifically know of your health’s intimate details! So please….let's respect each others’ personal effects and promote personal hygiene.  There are others that go to the strangest lengths and even jump into someone else’s panties and bras or even grab lingerie to go out their spouses. For those who practice that type of callous behavior…how do you know of my cleanliness?! How do you know my spouse is equally ‘clean’ or ‘healthy’?? Does it mean you really trust me or you just like my things that I go to the trouble of buying and you just have to put me through the spending to replace it. Because even if we both trust each other and you never return the ‘borrowed’ item what should I believe? There are people out there who just love people’s items. A hardwired trait that needs elimination. But that’s a story for another day.

Men and boys who share shoes or shirts, vests, socks and some appalingly even boxers.....you never if the other guy has fungus and works extra hard to keep it a secret. and for boxers......that just spells 'disgusting' in all languages under the sun.

Another thing shared the most is HEELS!! Ladies! Those have never been meant to be shared. They are another quite personal effect. All heels are manufactured the same way but once you buy it and strut around in it you’ve customized it to your walking and your body weight whether sober or drunk. So now you share it with a friend who is the same size and she has no balance of her own and since the shoes have been customized to your body and feet she struggles to fit them to her own feet and walk plus weight and balance. Then she fails then of course the shoe comes back with a wobbling heel and who do you have to blame? People will talk and say you are selfish or mean but at the end of the day its your loss! And no one helps you buy them except maybe your spouse who for sure will never need them or even think of wearing them. There’s generosity and then there is foolery. Where do you stand?

                                                                                    Yours PERSONALLY;

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SKETCH YOUR HOMMIES!

My distinguished readers…..we as a whole human race are found with a far worse apocalypse than all this Sodom and Gomora prophesies or all this scientific prophesies that are being sugar coated in movies or tv programmes as they claim its just creativity for our entertainment.

We are currently falling in a bottomless pit where people claim to be your friend and sabotage your dreams and ambitions. Another class of pests! These ones are more of rodents! This is what is makes me respect the class of people in hypocrisy and sadism. Those are much more respectable classes of people. Because they embrace who and what they are as they feed off your misery unlike the other set of treacherous, shady and downright copy cat type of human beings!! Who pretend they are cheering you on to achieve your goals then go dead and don’t even congratulate you when you finally reach the finish line.

 We were all created UNIQUELY! Even from our own families and even identical twins!! Your own fingers aren’t the same size and length because they each have a special and unique role to play. So you as an adult human being whom for sure we can’t blame not being original on peer pressure goes on to tap or try and insist on riding on your friends’ ( or any close person to you) talents or gifts when you cannot sit aside and try various other things and find yours! The one your creator hardwired into your system!

More descriptively, an couple of examples;

Your  friend models casually as a hobby even not as a career and there you go finding another agency and competively harass the living daylights out the modeling curriculum just because your tiny thinking capacity is convincing you so.

Another scenario is; you have a close friend who writes and when he/she pens her thoughts or opinions the world literally stops and listens or reads. Why? The originality is RARE.  Then you go around start writing long mediocre status facebook updates trying to sound so opinionated when honestly you don’t have the depth because that gift isn’t yours to use in the first place. If you are going to write then write a book!!

Other people of this pathetic caliber; hear or notice the friend is good in cooking then they start running around using the spices they saw in her kitchen and create good food but not awesome food! You get compliments but no one gushes and spreads the word of what an awesome cook you are. Open a restaurant!! Lets see you COOK! Most chefs have studied the trade but very few serve food that has ‘soul’.

Some really hopeless cases is where you see your friend throwing money around changing the most beautiful ladies on his arm every single day and their goes low thinking capacity again doing its talented shallow thinking and you go stealing, killing, armed robbery and even indulge in date rape just to be able to brag that he got laid by the beautiful ladies just to get to look like him when he could just look good no matter what he wears!! He could be from the really charming breed genuinely and it’s the ladies who are showering him with lavish gifts as you are busy breaking your backbone and tormenting innocent people with your deprived mental faculties.

Moral of all this is to remind everyone out their that they were created differently and uniquely as an individual. If your friend has talents or gifts people are boasting and preaching about and you find yourself bothered or leaning towards copying….reboot your system and find your gifts and talents if you haven’t! If you have them then its time you embrace them and polish them!

Be original. Find your passion. Love thyself. Burning plastic genuinely STINKS people let’s get REAL. Why do people like doing what other people are doing just to share that spotlight?? Personally, sharing spotlights is claustrophobic for me as it should be for every single person out there.

Sketch your hommies basically means stay where you belong! If you are about mediocre facebook status updates…..remain there!! If you cant afford really expensive brands…find happiness in the little you have. If you have a small behind unlike your friend who’s quite volumptuos then thank God that you atleast have a sitting apparatus to begin with and go searching for steroids or surgeries to amplify what God was very wise not to give you. If you are around people who genuinely have a unique accent that sets them apart then stick to your local one!! You sound even more hopeless and ridiculous trying to cook up just to fit in or for ‘airs’ that just give people what to laugh and say nasty things about you behind your back.

Be warned people; the grass is hardly ever greener on the other side. Plus being true is much more easier instead of comitting yourself to a life of self-imposed bondage busy chasing a double life career where nobody is paying you for your hardwork and sleepless nights.

                                                                    XXXXX;

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VALENTINE MADNESS!

It appears iam quite behind with voicing my overly loud CANDID opinion on this madness popularly known as “valentines day”. This is quite the day for hypocrisy, lies, shattered hopes, disappointments and true love to germinate in ones love life across the globe.

So what is it about men acting like they genuinely adore us and want to hear everything we say and work extra hard to maintain eye contact with us on this day in futile attempt not to let their usual wandering eye balls do their usual scans and walks as they escort other women’s "assets" up and down or in and out?! By the way that famous and unpopular ‘wandering eye’ is something I love to call ‘lazy eye’ where the pupils get shamelessly LAZY as they get glued on all other ladies around you except you whom he clearly chose out of all them out there when he had the opportunity to choose.

Back to the valentine madness…..so your self proclaimed boyfriend goes missing in action for most of the relationship in the 366/365 days of the year then swoops in like a knight in shining rubbish to torment us even worse on this really overrated day of the year?? Who died and gave them the high horse?? Where were you when I was cold and lonely?! Where were you when I needed a shoulder to cry on??  Where were you when i was having financial, emotional, academic and psychological hiccups?? Most importantly where are all the apologies u owe me that are in outstanding arrears??? Is a few hours in one day really enough to give our beloved male species a pass when they pass up on their obligations?? I think NOT!

We deserve to be spoilt and showered with gifts everyday and not have only one day for it. After all, the saint valentine himself died a grotesque death and his ‘love’ is what we now celebrate for the most ridiculous reasons! We all have a whole year to the next valentine’s day shenanigans…..lets find out exactly WHY we should celebrate it as individuals. Not to make our spouses happy or succumb to peer pressure and the hopeless bandwagon. 

Let’s stop calling a spade a big spoon people. It’s a spade!! If it was a big spoon we could use it as cutlery in our kitchens and dining tables.

                                                                  Yours CONCERNED;

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